Thursday 1 November 2007

Top work fella's!

I'd just like to add a personal note about my mate and his new girlfriend! Well done for telling me all the gory details last night I have never been so shocked and extremely pleased to here such vile lurid details! Well done! It was even more amusing when later we heard stories to make even Boy George shocked from a pub regular about his antics with baseball cap boys and what he's done behind closed doors with them after a few drinks and a few smokes! So shocking in fact that when I went home I had to go straight to bed it a pissed haze because I didnt know what to think!

Boo Hoo Peg Leg!

How can anyone not have warmed to Heather Mills after her tear sodden interview on GMTV (31/10/07), where she admitted the media had gone to far in vilifying her. She broke down and opened her heart to a caring Fiona Phillips who also looked visibly shaken.

No Stop! The interview was a fudging* sham! She ended up comparing her situation to Princess Diana and The McCann’s, though she cleverly had a go at the Sun newspaper and brought up the crud* they did during the Hillsborough disaster, which led to most of Liverpool never buying the rag again, this was genius because of the link between Liverpool’s golden boy ‘Macca’! But then they let the cow* go on because the interview was Goldust and a great advert for them in the newspapers and TV with their cruddy* old logo splashed in the corner.

Fiona couldn’t get a bloody* word in at the beginning and every word she could muster said (a) crap and (b) made Heather worse. Unless Fiona’s bosses were screaming into her earpiece to let Heather go off on one? Even Heather’s Paul got it in up beatles rim a few times abet very subtly because she can’t really slag him off for the daughters sake. Heather made sure she started to cry and then her voice went all high pitch like she was trying to be strong. But she didn’t actually cry!

Then when they let her go mad after the break she put on crocodile tears again! I’d love a psychologist to analyze that interview, it would be fascinating to hear what they think studying her. God, you can put money on tomorrow’s papers picking at each and every word she said to check the accuracy. She’s gonna get it worse if she said things even slightly inaccurate.

Thankfully Andrew ‘The Pervert’ Marr didn’t try to hit on Heather with his winkie bouncing about, he kept well out of it. He knows she damaged goods many times over and even his tongue wouldn’t climb the mast to get into that old crows nest! (See what I did there!)

Just seen today papers and The Sun, Mail and Mirror have all gone front page with the story to varying degrees of insults. GMTV are loving it because even America have picked up on the story and shown clips on all their news and entertainment shows. Job done Heather!!!


*These word were origianlly really rude but I wrote this in a library and it wouln't let me publish it till I changed them! What's the world F-ing coming to when you can't bloody swear!

Tuesday 30 October 2007

Toby "Boy genius"

You are a twat! Why do you have to be so noisey! is it all those drugs you are taking and dealing?

Quote of the bard himself!

"Don't you fuckin mention my parents again! I'll fucking punch you in the jaw", as said to his girlfried who he has a kid with!

And very similar to what I heard a woman say to her toddler who was crying the other day!

"I ain't puttin up with this for another week! If you don't shut up I'm gonna hit you in the face!" Lovely woman, lovely area I live in!

Is Trevor McDonut a lying git?

I took media studies around 14 years ago (before all these student dossers took it to get a quick A grade) and it defiantly changed the way I watch the news! When I was a kid sitting up the table having tea with Mum, Dad and my brother, as soon as the news came on about doom, gloom and the government, my parents would always discuss it but never in the cynical way that I and many others do today!

Media studies told me (when I was sober enough) to look at the news from other angles. No just to hear what is being said and accept it, but to look at the language being used and to take a closer look at the clips and or graphics used. Why might certain phrases be said, is the story being dumbed down? Is the story really a story or is it something politically motivated or is it even a distraction to another story that's trying to be buried?

Sometimes you listen to a story and at the end of it wonder what the hell it was about, was it actually saying anything? I’ve watched the news a few times and they’ve told me something that seems just like a statement and has no facts or anything to it!

Is the news programme your watching (which is of course unbiased) adding there own particular slant to a story, is it because of who they are siding with, does their boss have a political affiliation or are they owned by a big corporation who have their fingers in any other pies (i.e. Mr. Rupert Murdoch).

If there’s a photo telling one story, lie someone crying about there love life, see if there’s some more pictures showing an alternative, they might be surrounded but paparazzi and that’s upset them instead!

If you want some real ‘media’ fun watch the BBC news then flick over to ITV to see their version! Sometimes they’ll have the same lead story, but is the information the same?

Sometimes in the event of deaths, nobody knows how many people have died so they guess or cover over this factor and it spooky to watch the differences. Or is the information your hearing exactly the same. If it’s about a subject that you know about is it utter bollocks and you know they don’t have a clue what they’re talking about. This has happen recently when they slated Resistance fall of man for massacring people in a church, they just made shit up! And they always seem to get things very wrong when talking about films and computer games but to an outsider who doesn’t know it might seem very shocking or sensationalist as the media grabs for the better and better headlines.

You only have to look at the Madeleine story of recent and how it was reported in the papers to see how odd the media is! I won’t rant too much but the papers contradicted each other constantly and did everything to beat their rivals to information! One paper say’s she’s alive the other she’s dead. At first they support the McCann’s then they trash them! It was a great big farce and now they’ve turned on the Portuguese police!

Heores Haters!

People who don’t watch Heroes because the science of time travel is all wrong1

Firstly common knowledge is we haven’t been able to achieve time travel yet so Hawkins and Einstein might be wrong? Remember when experts told us that the world was flat, how soon you fuckers forget! And some of you believe in Jesus, where’s the evidence? You can’t point at the Bible, it’s not exactly Jesus’ diary!

“Yesterday walked on water, you should have seen Judas’s face!”

“Went to Desert for 40 day’s and Christ, I thought I saw the devil! Maybe I stayed to long!”

“Got crucified! Dude how un-cool was that! Then I was resurrected again!
Must pray to dad about all that crazy shit to say how I’m doing now!

You know who you are, and secondly you watch Hollyoaks and how realistic is any of that shit! Fucking Tony!

I hate GMTV!

GMTV’s bit on Craig ‘Bo Selecta’ David was hilarious today! They did a quick video montage on his past with a voiceover stating that his first album was very successful and had ton’s of number ones, then mentioned his second album and his Sting collaboration then his third album and said nothing else about it! It was a shit album basically and didn’t do very well, and then they mentioned his new track and album.

Andrew ‘Pervert’ Marr kissed David’s butt and tried to be funny with him, and David’s dry non-existent wit came across in bucket loads. He also looked a bit porky not buff! He said he was going to do a few moves when he performed and looked more ‘Dad’ at a wedding than Justin ‘Timbo’ Timberlake.

Craig went on to say that he was really doing well money wise for his record company and that’s why he’s been allowed to sample songs and stuff from artists he really respects like David Bowie, Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder! Oh I thought people usually comeback with sampled records because they were doing shit and needed the use of a record people loved that and would hopefully encourage them to buy the song.

Andrew Marr is like a peeping tom to all the female guests, he should either just gets his binoculars out for a good look or just dry hump the bitched legs! He says some of the worst flirty lines ever! And when Fiona told him Helen Mirren and Michelle ‘Pied’ Pheiffer (see what I did there) obviously had the hots for him a few weeks back he almost shot his bolt! I thought the tennis pervert has a wife? If she left him it’s pretty reasonable to guess why! And if he mentions sports once more during the television review I’ll die.

Christ and if you saw Fiona ‘The Peoples Princess’ Phillips last week and didn’t vomit at her shaking her talons with ‘poor village darkies’ and being all tearful (she couldn’t fucking cry if you stabbed the bitch) and poking her fucking sympathetic beak into their problems by wearing an expensive white shirt and jeans (ala’ Diana)I’d be very friggin surprised! Way to blend in with the locals Fiona, I liked it when you put your haggard old claw around the old woman and said she was like your Grandma, didn’t kiss the bitch though did you ya fuckin hypocrite!

GMTV gives me tumors!

Sunday 9 September 2007

Jumping on the bandwagon!

How soon is it before the ‘scabloid’ newspapers print the any of these headlines?

“The most hated woman in Britain” or
“The Face of Evil” or
“A mother’s shame” etc

At the moment I feel sorry for the family having to face the foreign paparazzi that have hounded them out of Portugal, which was reminiscent of how dangerous the media were hounding Princess Diana before the crash that killed her!

Even now the paparazzi are stationed outside their house. If was in the same situation I’d go mental towards the cameras and swear loads even if it did show me in a bad light!

But then again we must also feel sorry for the guy who was the original suspect; his life has been ruined by the medias interest in every detail about him, true or untrue! He was basically branded a pedophile and yet now he’s been forgotten and left to pick up what’s left of his life!

And what of the forensics evidence that’s been announced to the press? It seems awfully weak, but then maybe the real stuff has been withheld since the beginning of the investigation so that the real suspect whomever ‘she’ maybe might trip up!

It’s a cliché but “think of the children springs to mind when I see the press hounding the family, but then they did court the media to help move the case forward and get national interest so that Maddie would not be forgotten, but perhaps that’s why they remain so calm and haven’t flipped?