Oooh Fashion!

I'm so angry my bloods boiling. I have one important thing to say to mens fashion designers, "Take a fucking risk!

The other day I recieved a chainstore catalogue and I flicked through the womens fashion pages first, what did I see, well there was a whole variety of funky colourful fashions.

One designer had made several styles to mix and match. Club wear, hippy wear and a work suit, all were quite stylish but had a certain street wear look to them and if youre a girl you could choose, depending on your mood or environment, what look you wanted to give off that day. The catalogue womens section had quite an impressive range

However my mood suddenly changed when I got to the men's section. There's always been a joke between me and my brother since we were kids, that when our parents dragged us into BHS or Marks and Spencer's we'd look for the smallest corner of the shop and go, "That's the men's section that is", usually we were right and that relates to the men's section and selection.

Firstly there's not as much as the women's section, true men don't all spend as much money on clothes as women seem to, but maybe this is the reason. The first few pages were full of chequered 'Lad' shirts (You Sad Lad- YSL, Alf Owen - Ralph Lauren).

Hello! I'm sorry I though this was 2001- A Space Odessey. These hideous shirts in unflattering styles, (they hang terribly on all but the fattest of men), and colours have been knocking about on the scene for about five fucking years now thanks to Noel F-ing Gallagher and other 'Grandad-rock' groups. Even Noel's moved on since then!




The beautiful people, yesterday
I prefered the terrible look of my youth, 'Top-man' suit in a bright colour (red the best) and a tacky patterend shirt or polo neck. Colour Me Bad had the same sort of look but a lot classier was the British look of shuffling about on club dance floors holding your Newcastle Brown Ale bottle and combing you centre parting to The Stereo MC's and James Brown.

Even the Seattle Lumber-jack shirt was far more stylish and rugged, the lad shirt is suppossed to be stylish enough and smart enough to get you into a nightclub, then why don't all the fourteen year olds tuck them in then at school you'd 'get done' by teachers for looking this scruffy. Classy but do your top button up and wear a tie!!!

Back to the catalogue, all the rest of the clothes were just as dull, no risks with suits, and I know there are funky suits out there so why won't they bring out catalogue fashions. They fear change! All suits are made like kids toys. And now for toddlers 'My first suit' which is the look of men who look ten years old and work in Dixon's who have really bad acne and use up the worlds supply of hair gel.

The collarless suit! We've had the collarless suit for years and it still looks shit, it's not a classic I don't remember Brando or Bond rocking the look (if they did don't email moi). Mike Mills of REM and even Johnathon Ross have cool patterned suits but not us the general public not in a catalogue.

And as for the the Sports wear, I would'nt wear it for doing sports in. I'd be embarrassed at it's blandness. Even good old trainers have become dull, back in the day you could buy trainers that looked like Las Vegas signs, as high tech as a military weapon and as big as house. Not anymore their streamlined for 'walking to the pub in Olympic time'.

As a school kid you'd get mocked for not having the right brand of trainers now, you should get mocked for having the newest trainers you paided '100 quid for'. You look like a mug to me.

Don't get me wrong I'm all for the 'NO LOGO' fashions but not at the expense of expression. I shouldn't have to find only funky sixties, seventies or even fifties clothes in second hand shops I want them in chainstores and catalogues. I'm not putting up with this shit I'm a consumer and I have rights!!!